How to stay motivated and be the best that you can be
All of us have dreams, goals and aspirations, but what separates those of us who achieve them and those who don’t?
The answer is based on all the variables explored below. We have explored finding your WHY, attitude and focus, consistency, daily habits and much more; these factors on how to stay motivated can bridge the gap between success and failure.
Here are some golden tips for those who want to become the best version of themselves, and want a strategy in achieving their goals:
Positive attitude and what to focus on
A great way to motivate yourself is to remember your own power of autonomy. Being aware of your thoughts is helpful because then you can nip negative thought patterns in the bud. Realizing certain thought patterns and old-set belief systems that no longer serve you is the first step in removing any obstacles which may be holding you back.
I advise a small amount of time each day to contemplate; in meditation, it is common knowledge to “clear your mind of all thoughts”, but when you do this, you concentrate on not thinking, therefore you are thinking about not thinking. If you manage to clear your mind, you focus on realizing that you have cleared your mind so you are thinking again!
If you are going to focus or think about something, one strategy is to focus on your breathing which can give you a clear mind. What I recommend though, is to focus on gratitude and care for others. This helps to get you in a certain flow of coherence and clarity, putting you in a great mood to set you up for the day. Whenever I do this, I manage to be very productive afterwards, realizing that the little annoyances in the day seem really little in comparison to the list of great people, things and opportunities which I have in my life; “where focus goes, energy flows”. This can help you to release energizing hormones, as opposed to cortisol, the “stress-hormone”, which is released when you are stressed which can make you feel drained.
Try to enjoy the journey, as well as focus on the destination. This can can help to ‘pull’ you towards your goals, as opposed to having to ‘push’ yourself there.
Consistency and daily habits
All the other factors are not going to give you lasting results if you do not incorporate consistency into your daily habits. What do you do each day? What sort of food do you eat? How productive are you? What justifications and excuses do you make each day?
First things first, you need to scrap justifications and excuses. Phrases like “I’ll do it tomorrow” and “I’ll just eat healthy tomorrow instead” are very dangerous sentences, because it allows for the foot in the door effect. This is where once we do it, it will be easy to do it again, and again, until it turns into a habit; “first we form our habits, then they form us”.
By being strict with yourself, not giving into these weak thoughts EVEN ONCE (unless it is your cheat day or there is an actual emergency as to why you can’t train), you are setting yourself up for success. By forming these positive habits, it will create an upwards spiral. You know that you can depend on yourself, which will increase your confidence. This can lower the possibility for relapse because you are addicted to the amazing feelings which this can bring. You will not want to disappoint yourself and those around you who will inevitably praise you for your rock-solid consistency.
If there is one thing which successful people (in all aspects of the word) have, it is the positive habits which they practice daily.
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” – Aristotle
Self-identity and belief systems
“Life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% how you deal with it”. Perception and self-identity is a powerful thing. People who say they are “fat”, have unconsciously given themselves permission to be fat as they have incorporated it in to their identity. If however, they say that they are a potential athlete which HAVE fat that they need to lose, they have changed the way they view themselves, and are no longer subconsciously saying its okay to keep up the daily habits and lifestyle choices.
Saying that you are lazy is a destructive belief system; it can produce a self-fulfilling prophecy, unconsciously giving yourself permission to fill your days with unproductive activities, which can in turn, lead to depression because there is little to no fulfillment or sense of achievement. This depression can make you feel drained, lowering your chance even more to get back on the right track (although it is not impossible, not at all. You just need to find a strong motivator; find your WHY and change what you focus on).
In the same way, you can create a positive self-fulfilling prophecy; saying that you enjoy lifting weights can help you focus on the positives, such as improved fitness levels, a better body and “feel-good” chemicals which are released. This shift from the liabilities to the advantages can make all the difference in how you view something, whether how effortless or dutiful it can feel.
Thinking that all successful people are the luckiest, most talented and gifted individuals is a destructive way to validate to yourself why you are not successful. Each person has 24 hours in the day; it’s just how you use it. Most people get where they are through beating on their craft and putting in the hours, which can soon add up. If a person exercises for an average of an hour per day, this works out to 3650 hours in 10 years – 152 full days and nights working on improving themselves. The hours add up, which is why it is so important to believe that the playing field is more level than you think, and you can get to where you want to be if you are willing to put in the time. After all, between 80-86% of all millionaires are self-made! If you want to know how to stay motivated, know that belief systems are one of the main factors in attaining long-lasting motivation.
“He who says he can and he who says he can’t are both usually right.” – Confucious
Invest in yourself
Acquiring knowledge is a great way how to stay motivated as it gives you the tools and confidence to move forward. Fitness and nutritional knowledge is available to everyone, as well a vast, limitless access to the internet which gives you an abundance of knowledge in every field.
By learning and developing yourself, you are setting yourself up for success. Each valuable insight, concept or skill can improve your chances in future encounters; whether it is dealing with a setback effectively, getting out of a life or death situation, dealing with people and impressing them with your knowledge which could help you close a successful deal, or giving you the precursors to an idea which could make you millions, investing in whichever aspects of yourself which you think is important can be a real game changer. The time will go regardless, you may as well invest in yourself while the time passes to set yourself up for a higher quality life.
Set goals and be specific
Often we feel demotivated because our goals or tasks seem too big and difficult to complete. This is why it’s better to focus on one step at a time. A person does not intend to build a perfect wall. A person can intend to lay down each brick as perfect as a brick can be layed, which will inevitably result in building a perfect wall.
If you goal is fitness-related, set aside a small amount of time each day to exercise; the benefits of high intensity interval training includes time efficiency for those with tight schedules; only 10-20 minutes is needed. I recommend lifting weights as well though, which can compliment HIIT and produce maximum benefits.
By writing out a time table for the week and putting it next to your bed can help to set it in your mind, making no excuse for missing your workouts. Keeping your workout clothes within one minute of your bed can improve your chances of following through, making it very easy for you to pack your things before heading off to the gym.
Write down how many hours you will spend in the gym each day / week / month. Do the maths and write down short, medium and long term goals. By writing it down and following it strictly, you will be able to see results and see that it is POSSIBLE to achieve your goals. This will be linked to your timetable / goal sheet, making you realize that if you follow it, it is inevitable that you will reach your goals. Getting a PT to help you write out your training list, and a nutritionist to help you write down your meal plans, can help you to reach your goals more efficiently.
Nutrition-wise, write down a shopping list before you go shopping; this can help you to stay strict and not forget to buy certain superfoods like maca root, also resisting that chocolate cake. By not going shopping hungry, you can make it easier for yourself in terms of temptation.
Writing down your goals is a perfect way how to stay motivated; it is like putting the post-code into the SatNav and mapping out the way. Without this, you don’t really know where you are going and if you ever do reach the destination, you will have taken many unnecessary roads along the way.
This is applicable with all aspects of your life, therefore, you should make a goal sheet for all the important parts of your life, whether it be relationships, career, etc.
By writing down your goals and visualizing the outcome (in detail), this can help you to get excited and make you even more passionate about it.
Know that you don’t have to be perfect to start with
Thinking you have to always be perfect can paralyse you. Most of the chances we miss in life are because we are too afraid to fail; making a mistake and looking like a fool. The difference between successful people is that they are afraid to miss the opportunity, more than the fear of failure.
The secret is that you don’t have to be perfect to be successful. Everyone makes mistakes, and even if you fail the first time, keep trying. Successful people have failed more times than average people have ever tried. In the words of Les Brown, “anything worth doing is worth doing badly, until you get it right”.
It is easy to choose the comfortable path out of fear, which is disguised as practicality. Realism is just justified pessimism, after all. We sometimes forget that life is short and it is naive to believe that tomorrow is promised to us, therefore we are already naked, with no sense of security. We may as well aim high, and if we were to fail, at least we fail majestically and for the right reasons.
You don’t have to be great to start but you have to start to be great, so even if you are extremely overweight, I can assure you that most people in the gym will respect you for trying to improve yourself.
Fail forward
If you ever encounter failure, it is something that happens to you, not something that IS YOU. You need to learn from your mistakes and fail forwards. You can either give up, or get up. You have the choice. What would your life be like if you don’t allow your fears to stop you from doing what you truly want to do?
Don’t allow your limiting beliefs to define who you are and what you do. Putting validity on these type of thoughts can restrict growth and make you miss opportunities which you were made for.
FEAR – ‘False Evidence Appearing Real’
You have to accept that it’s possible to fail at some point in your life. This is a learning curve, as we learn more from failure than from succeeding. It is not success that develops strengths, it is the struggle and the journey to get to there. So if you do fail, make sure you fail forward!
Momentum
If a train is going 60mph and there is concrete block in the way, it will break through and keep going forwards. If you put a small pebble in front of the wheel of a stationary train, it won’t budge. Never underestimate the power of momentum.
Just do small improvements daily to help build up this momentum, and strive for excellence in each little thing that you attempt. Focusing on success can make you feel stress, focusing on excellence can make success inevitable. As your momentum builds, set bigger goals, consistently.
“One way to keep momentum going is to have constantly greater goals” – Michael Korda
Believe in yourself
Sometimes we are afraid of trying our hardest because we believe that this could make other people feel inadequate and we could be perceived as a “show off”. This is a destructive mindset and will not help us, or anyone else. The best way to achieve all that you can achieve is to always try your best, and believe that it is possible to be what ever you want to be, with enough hard work and dedication.
Being self-critical is not the way how to stay motivated. Take some time out to reflect on yourself and spend each day thinking about what you have achieved, and what is possible for you to achieve. It’s important to note that your own confidence and being self-assured can help to liberate others into feeling the same.
You may just surprise yourself with what you are capable of, and don’t ever settle for being ‘average’ or ‘good’, when you can be phenomenal. To do this, you need to follow your passion and love what you do.
You are who you hang out with
Did you try the last subheading, only to be shot down by your peers and made to feel stupid for believing in yourself or an idea? Then that is an indication that they really shouldn’t be in your life. You will come to realize that people do not like change; many people who you know will put up resistance when you try to change, because this will show them that they are able to change as well which they are not ready for or not prepared to do.
Ignore the naysayers, even if it is a member of your family which do not share your vision. Realizing that you do not need the approval of others can help you live a better quality, more fulfilling life.
Avoid mixing with negative people if you can help it; “one bad apple can spoil the bunch” as the saying goes, and it can drag you down to a negative mind set. We are influenced by our environment, which is why it is important to watch videos by people like Peter Sage, Tony Robbins, Les Brown, Eric Thomas and other successful people to get you in the right state of mind. Try to avoid music which can lower your vibe, and TV is a great way to demotivate you; there is a reason why it is called a TV ‘program’. Think your own thoughts, and do not let yourself be programmed by the news which is only good for getting people into a victim mentality, the opposite end of the spectrum to being successful.
Mix with people who are achievers, because their habits and views will rub off on you.
Commitment
You need commitment if you are going to reach your goals. To commit means to not have a plan B (when it comes to what you want to achieve), putting all your eggs in the basket in terms of what you want your outcome to be. It is possible to be flexible in the strategy, but make sure that you are stubborn in what you want to achieve.
Understand that you need to make sacrifices, be consistent and know that you need to do what is needed to be done, no excuses or justifications at all.
If it is a business goal which you want to achieve, don’t focus on “how can I make money?”, but “how can I provide value”. As Earl Nightingale states, “our rewards in life will always be in exact proportion to our contribution”. So aim to provide as much value as possible, because if you can provide enough value to enough people, you can have anything you want in life.
When an animal is killed for food, it has committed itself to that meal. That is what I mean by absolute commitment; there is no other option is possible apart from your goal.
As long as you are committed, any goal is achievable. But if you ask,“ what if it is not realistic?”, well, then my answer would be, was the first person to invent a plane or boat being realistic? Was Thomas Edison realistic when he created the light bulb?
Even the word impossible is an oxymoron; i’m-possible.
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Hopefully this has given you enough information on how to stay motivated and become the best version of yourself that you can be. Check out these motivational videos for some more inspiration.
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